Drugs... I understand now

When I was young I was raised that people that do drugs are "bad people" because drugs are bad. I never understood why people did drugs. I sadly always looked down on them and thought they were all "bad people" that would kill you for drugs. Now I know better. Not that all of them are bad people, some have a problem and are willing to do bad things for drugs. However I know there are lots of people like me that started taking pain killers for a valid injury of some kind and there is no way or no one is willing to fix it so they end up getting put on pain killers long term and end up getting addicted. I am fully willing to admit that I am addicted to pain killers. How ever I am still 100% in charge of my faculties and know what it going on and what is causing it. I hope it stays this way and I can beat this but I am sure that is what most people think.

I was on a pain patch that was supose to last 7 days and I was to put a new one on every 7 days ... but the patch seemed to only last 5 to 5 1/2 days. This caused my body to start the withdrawals. Very miserable, I would put the patch on on Mondays and they would wear off by late Friday or Saturday. My symptoms were cold and hot sweats, restlessness, insomnia, fear, pain and  panic. I was worried that I was going to die even though I knew that this would not kill me. The only thing that would help relieve it was a hot bath. However I could not take a full hot bath because I couldn't get the patch wet nor could I increase the heat of the patch or it would release more medication than it should that could have caused real problems. For 3 weekends I suffered like this. When I went back to the doctor she told me that I should have called her to tell her that I was having trouble. She told me that she had already prescribed me a medication that would have helped. I felt like a moron, when there are problems with a medication... Call your doctor. I learned this the hard way.

With this scare I told my doctor I wanted to get off the pain killers. She seemed a little upset but happy at the same time. We had done a lot to get my insurance to cover the medications I was on and now I was asking her to take me off the meds. We came up with a plan to get me off the pain killers. It is easy so far because we are just starting but I know it is going to get really really suckie.

I want to apologize to all the people I stereotyped as "bad people" because they had an addiction. I understand now. I know that the people I did that to do not know what I did and I will never hear from again but I think it is better to put an apology out there than not at all.

2nd Amendment Rights

Last weekend I went to the State Capitol to show my support for the 2nd Amendment with the rally that was there. There were a few good speakers and a few not so good ones. Ended up being about 3000 people there, a lot of which where open carrying a very wide range of firearms. I invited several people I know but none of them could go. I intend to join every rally that supports the 2nd Amendment I can. I am also writing letters to the president and other officials stating my stance on this issue. This is the only political thing I will even touch. I normally would not touch political issues with a 10 foot pole but I am not going to stand on the side lines as they chip away at our most crucial right. Most of the things they are trying to do, they say that it will stop the mass shootings but what they are trying to ban makes no sense.

Had a very scary moment last night. I was at Cafe Rio getting Anna some food and on my way out a Hispanic man shouted at me "Hey homes" in a very aggressive voice and was walking towards me in a puffed up jacket and was acting very tough and strutting. My adrenaline instantly skyrocketed, as he walked closer I reached for my weapon with my free hand. This stopped the man dead in his tracks and he said "Oh nevermind" turned and walked away. It is moments like this that I know I need to support the 2nd amendment because that is one of the main reasons for it... self-defense, I did not even have to display my weapon. Just the thought that I might be able to defend myself was enough to diffuse the situation. Now given he may have just been wanting to ask me the time, but with the tone and demeanor of the man I highly doubt it. I wonder what would have happened if I were not armed. Would I have been mugged, murdered... I was not willing to take that chance. I would rather scare the shit out of some punk than let him take the better of me.

Our New Shed

Anna and I have not been able to park a car in the garage for a very long time because it was full of ...stuff... most of which we wanted to keep. We decided to get a shed. We went to Home Depot, our home away from home, and parked in front of the sheds while we ate lunch. Two minutes after we got there an employee came over and asked if she could help us ... before we even got out of the car. She told us all the information we needed. We started looking around and found one what would have taken up our whole back yard but we were looking for a small one that fit in a nook next to the house behind the garage. We ended up getting a Tuff Shed that was 6x8 with a metal base. We were told that it would be installed in about 3 to 4 weeks. After we ordered it we got a call a few days later to schedule the install and the guy told me that it would be the next week. I was happy with this. I worked from home the day of the install and the installers showed up right on time and started right away. In a few hours we had a shed. Anna picked the colors and I think it fits well.

This is a picture of it almost done.

The only downside to the whole thing was that the grass was very wet and this made it get very muddy and I think I may lose the grass in front of the shed but I will reseed next spring and we will see how it goes.

Spine Saga

I have talked about my back before but I don't think everyone knows the whole story about what happened and what is going on, so here is the story to date.

As most of you know I have had a painful back ever since high school. Back then it was mostly that I would just throw my back out overworking it. My back got a lot stronger when I was living with Wayne because I was working and lifting all the time ... then I got a good manual labor job where I was again moving, lifting and bending... I still threw my back out once and a while. I am sure my story is not much different than most people so far but it all started to change when I got a desk job. I tried to stay active and strong but I was not able to keep up with it ... I was throwing my back out monthly. I would go play paintball and come back home crippled or I would go skiing and wake up the next morning not able to move. Yes it sucked ... but I could just go to the doctor and get some painkillers and muscle relaxants and I would be fine.

Then it started getting more and more frequent, twice a month then once a week. So Anna convinced me to go to the doctor and see what was wrong with me. When I went to the doctor about something else I brought it up and he said "Well, if it is still bugging you we will do an x-ray", so the next time I threw my back out I went in and he did an x-ray... nothing ... he said I had a small curve to my back that was hardly worth mentioning but that was it. I am guessing he just chalked it up to my inactivity... and so did I.

I started to have pain all the time to the point that I no longer could do anything ... and I mean anything without throwing my back out... case in point: lifting a 5 pound box from the trunk of a car. That threw it out, so at this point I knew there was something wrong with me. I told my self to keep active and muscle through it. That is the only way I thought I could fix it because I thought it was just my back being weak and needed to be stronger.

Months and months went by with me thinking this is what I needed to do so ... I remodeled the kitchen, the den , and built a deck thinking that doing so would help. Everything I did threw my back out and I would suffer for day and even weeks after. Even after going to the doctor again and again telling him about it all he would say is "Let me give you some exercises to strengthen your back" most of which I was already doing in one way or another with the activities I was doing. The pain started to be constant and I started popping ibuprofen and aspirin like it was candy on a regular schedule and on the max dosage and lo and behold my stomach started to have trouble: pain, ulcers, nausea ... not fun.

About 9 months ago Anna and I changed insurance and that meant I needed to get a new doctor... I got my medical records and went to my new doctor. I told him what was going on and he asked if they had done an MRI. I had never had one and he wanted to find out what was really causing my back pain. He ran a bunch of tests for all sorts of stuff and ordered an MRI... he told me to hold on a minute in the exam room and he was going to check the schedule. I thought that I would have another appointment in a few weeks but lucky for me the MRI was free and so I could go right over and have it done right then. I figured they would get back to me with the results in a few days. A few hours later the doctor called me personally and gave me the results. I have two bulging discs in my lower back. So he gave me some pain killers and made me an appointment with another doctor that does epidural injections of steroids to lower the inflammation so my discs could heal. That appointment was a few weeks later and I was really scared that he was going to stick a giant needle in my back and it would hurt really really badly ... but he gave me some numbing stuff so I almost didn't feel it. After a few days I started to feel better, still having pain but my flexibility came back.

After a few months the injection started to wear off. I started having lots of pain again... so I made another appointment to get another injection. Sadly the second one didn't work at all ... if anything it made things worse. One morning I was in so much pain I was on the floor ... crying in pain ... you know like a man and all... Anna wanted to take me to the ER but I knew they wouln't be able to do anything so I called the doctor. He called me again personally ... on a Sunday and was worried that I might have an infection or the disc may have ruptured so he ordered another MRI and blood tests to make sure I didn't have a spinal infection ... because you know that can kill in hours. I got the tests the next day and luckily they where negative... so we tried another injection. Yet again it didn't do anything. He started to think that we might have to send me to a surgeon to see what he could do.
The appointment with the surgeon was WAY off. I had to wait a month just to talk to the surgeon and in the meantime I needed to work, drive, and you know live so my doctor gave me some stronger painkillers. As most of you know painkillers do not work on me very well... I was taking Loratab  10 mg and they were only taking the edge off and I had been taking them so long they started to not work any more so he put me on Percocet which is working better sometimes I took one an hour ago and I am still hurting now. So ... anyway we finally went to the surgeon and he talked to me and looked at my MRI and hemmed and hawed and told me that there is nothing he can do and that I just had arthritis and I should take Advil. He kinda gave me the feeling that I was imagining the pain and told me that "everyone has bulging discs" and that I basically should just deal with the pain... needless to say Anna started crying because she hates to see me in pain. Everyone told us that we should get another opinion and so that appointment is in a few days.

I know it sounds odd but I just want this to be over, I want the surgery so I can recover and my life can get back to normal. I am getting fat because of this and I can't move much so I can't get out and do stuff. I am also getting very depressed because of this and I have started to have really bad thoughts about... solving the problem... It just hurts so bad.

When you hurt 24/7 and a surgeon tells you basically to suck it up and deal like everyone else I feel like a wimp. I know that people do not walk around feeling like this. No one would ever ski, paintball, work in the yard, or even take out the trash because it hurts too much.

I will make another post when I have more of the story to tell.

It Goes BANG

A few weeks ago my friend told me to take a look at a new gun that came out last year and that he thinks I would like it. I took a look at it ... the Walther PPQ. The gun comes in 9mm and 40cal. I started looking at it and I fell in love with it and I started to think that I wanted it for my new concealed carry gun. I started reading and looking at reviews on it without finding any negative ones. I told Anna that I wanted it and then she decided to get it for me for our anniversary. A few days later I went to Impact Guns in Ogden to take a look at one but they didn't have any on display... but after talking to the guy behind the counter he said that they may have one on hold for someone that I could take a look at. He opened it and the drool started to pour out ... I touched it and my heart skipped a beat. I picked it up and I lost my breath... it felt very comfortable and very smooth action and it was a very good price. They didn't have any like I said but he looked it up and the other store said that they could ship it over and I could pick it up in a week. In hindsight I could have picked it up in one day... but I didn't. A little over a week later it arrived.... I bounced at work for a few hours until I could go pick it up ... and here it is.

Pretty ins't it? When I picked it up I also got free range time with the purchase and thus went to the range and put 100 rounds through it. It performed perfectly and was very very nice. I love it.

New Floor

For a over a year Anna and I have been looking at redoing the flooring on our main floor with hardwood. We picked out the flooring we wanted that went well with the new cabinets in the kitchen. It is laminate that is finished in a Brazilain Cherry.

I went to Home Depot and was browsing for a thing for my keys when I saw that the flooring we wanted was on clearance I called Anna and told her and she told me to get it. When I was paying for it, I told the flooring lady that I was going to pay with my Home Depot card and she said "Thanks for telling me that 'Lowes has that for cheaper' "(wink wink) and gave me an additional  5% off. Home Depot has a customer for life.

They loaded a full pallet plus 4 boxes into my truck and away I went. When I got home I looked at how much my truck was sagging from the weight and apologized to my back ahead of time. I started to unload the flooring into the house so it could acclimatize to the house. Then I started to rip out the old carpet, padding and tile. I started to rip up the tile in front of the door ... and big surprise I was able to pull out all the tile by hand ... no tools needed. I then started to rip out the carpet. Once I got to the sub floor I started to clean it up and prep for the new flooring when I saw that they had used finish nails (smooth shafted, very small head) to attach the subfloor to the floor joists.... that is why it squeaked all the time. I changed them all to screws. Almost all the squeaks went away.

I had Jorgen come over and help with the install of the flooring. We put down a few rows and then stopped for the night.

Then next day we really went to work, getting about 2/3 of it finished.

The last day we finished and cleaned up. Here are some before and after pictures.

Buster is still getting used to walking on the floor ... he has face planted a few times.

New Roof

I am sure everyone knows about "Windpocalypse" that happened at the begining of December. Well, when that happened I was at work taking care of the servers and stuff... I didn't think that somthing might be happening to my house. When I got home there were roof shingles all over the yard, but when I looked on the roof I was just missing tabs of shingles all over, but I didn't have any missing sections.

My brother's house was missing sections of shingles so I went over there to help him cover it and protect it from any weather that might be coming. Then I turned to my house. I went up on the roof and looked around and it didn't look that bad ... I thought it could wait for me to re-roof in in the spring... which was the plan... but I decided to call the insurance and see what they thought. So a few days later the inspector came out and told Anna it looked like there was not even $1000 in damage thus the insurance wouldn't need to pay for it but after he reported to USAA and they looked at the pictures and stuff they then called me and said they were going to approve the replacement of the roof ... I was shocked ... but was really happy.

WE LOVE USAA.

Anyway, the roofers showed up and asked if I wanted to upgrade my shingles for a little bit more; the insurance would only replace what was there... but I could upgrade if I wanted so I did. They then ripped off all the shingles...

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...and then tar papered all before noon ... on Christmas Eve, too!

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A few days later they came over with about 25% of the shingles and did some of it.

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The next day they finished the rest of the roof ... Buster was not happy the whole time; didn't like people banging on the roof.

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