When I was young I was raised that people that do drugs are "bad people" because drugs are bad. I never understood why people did drugs. I sadly always looked down on them and thought they were all "bad people" that would kill you for drugs. Now I know better. Not that all of them are bad people, some have a problem and are willing to do bad things for drugs. However I know there are lots of people like me that started taking pain killers for a valid injury of some kind and there is no way or no one is willing to fix it so they end up getting put on pain killers long term and end up getting addicted. I am fully willing to admit that I am addicted to pain killers. How ever I am still 100% in charge of my faculties and know what it going on and what is causing it. I hope it stays this way and I can beat this but I am sure that is what most people think.
I was on a pain patch that was supose to last 7 days and I was to put a new one on every 7 days ... but the patch seemed to only last 5 to 5 1/2 days. This caused my body to start the withdrawals. Very miserable, I would put the patch on on Mondays and they would wear off by late Friday or Saturday. My symptoms were cold and hot sweats, restlessness, insomnia, fear, pain and panic. I was worried that I was going to die even though I knew that this would not kill me. The only thing that would help relieve it was a hot bath. However I could not take a full hot bath because I couldn't get the patch wet nor could I increase the heat of the patch or it would release more medication than it should that could have caused real problems. For 3 weekends I suffered like this. When I went back to the doctor she told me that I should have called her to tell her that I was having trouble. She told me that she had already prescribed me a medication that would have helped. I felt like a moron, when there are problems with a medication... Call your doctor. I learned this the hard way.
With this scare I told my doctor I wanted to get off the pain killers. She seemed a little upset but happy at the same time. We had done a lot to get my insurance to cover the medications I was on and now I was asking her to take me off the meds. We came up with a plan to get me off the pain killers. It is easy so far because we are just starting but I know it is going to get really really suckie.
I want to apologize to all the people I stereotyped as "bad people" because they had an addiction. I understand now. I know that the people I did that to do not know what I did and I will never hear from again but I think it is better to put an apology out there than not at all.
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