Drugs... I understand now

When I was young I was raised that people that do drugs are "bad people" because drugs are bad. I never understood why people did drugs. I sadly always looked down on them and thought they were all "bad people" that would kill you for drugs. Now I know better. Not that all of them are bad people, some have a problem and are willing to do bad things for drugs. However I know there are lots of people like me that started taking pain killers for a valid injury of some kind and there is no way or no one is willing to fix it so they end up getting put on pain killers long term and end up getting addicted. I am fully willing to admit that I am addicted to pain killers. How ever I am still 100% in charge of my faculties and know what it going on and what is causing it. I hope it stays this way and I can beat this but I am sure that is what most people think.

I was on a pain patch that was supose to last 7 days and I was to put a new one on every 7 days ... but the patch seemed to only last 5 to 5 1/2 days. This caused my body to start the withdrawals. Very miserable, I would put the patch on on Mondays and they would wear off by late Friday or Saturday. My symptoms were cold and hot sweats, restlessness, insomnia, fear, pain and  panic. I was worried that I was going to die even though I knew that this would not kill me. The only thing that would help relieve it was a hot bath. However I could not take a full hot bath because I couldn't get the patch wet nor could I increase the heat of the patch or it would release more medication than it should that could have caused real problems. For 3 weekends I suffered like this. When I went back to the doctor she told me that I should have called her to tell her that I was having trouble. She told me that she had already prescribed me a medication that would have helped. I felt like a moron, when there are problems with a medication... Call your doctor. I learned this the hard way.

With this scare I told my doctor I wanted to get off the pain killers. She seemed a little upset but happy at the same time. We had done a lot to get my insurance to cover the medications I was on and now I was asking her to take me off the meds. We came up with a plan to get me off the pain killers. It is easy so far because we are just starting but I know it is going to get really really suckie.

I want to apologize to all the people I stereotyped as "bad people" because they had an addiction. I understand now. I know that the people I did that to do not know what I did and I will never hear from again but I think it is better to put an apology out there than not at all.

2nd Amendment Rights

Last weekend I went to the State Capitol to show my support for the 2nd Amendment with the rally that was there. There were a few good speakers and a few not so good ones. Ended up being about 3000 people there, a lot of which where open carrying a very wide range of firearms. I invited several people I know but none of them could go. I intend to join every rally that supports the 2nd Amendment I can. I am also writing letters to the president and other officials stating my stance on this issue. This is the only political thing I will even touch. I normally would not touch political issues with a 10 foot pole but I am not going to stand on the side lines as they chip away at our most crucial right. Most of the things they are trying to do, they say that it will stop the mass shootings but what they are trying to ban makes no sense.

Had a very scary moment last night. I was at Cafe Rio getting Anna some food and on my way out a Hispanic man shouted at me "Hey homes" in a very aggressive voice and was walking towards me in a puffed up jacket and was acting very tough and strutting. My adrenaline instantly skyrocketed, as he walked closer I reached for my weapon with my free hand. This stopped the man dead in his tracks and he said "Oh nevermind" turned and walked away. It is moments like this that I know I need to support the 2nd amendment because that is one of the main reasons for it... self-defense, I did not even have to display my weapon. Just the thought that I might be able to defend myself was enough to diffuse the situation. Now given he may have just been wanting to ask me the time, but with the tone and demeanor of the man I highly doubt it. I wonder what would have happened if I were not armed. Would I have been mugged, murdered... I was not willing to take that chance. I would rather scare the shit out of some punk than let him take the better of me.